I saw you last night on my  compy.  You were all ga-ga over this dude named Wally.   Whatevs.  I can see why you were diggin’ him, with his tank-tread and bedroom eyes.  So he can survive a rocket blast into space, and varying atmospheric conditions (douchenozzle).   I could too if I had the gear! 

I realize you both have a lot in common– but let’s look at the facts:

Dude hangs with roaches.  Seriously.  That’s nasty.  AND he’s a song and dance man.  This may seem cute and romantic, but one day he’s gonna switch teams on you.  Whether it’s 3 or 300 years from now, binocular head’ll be gone and you’ll be left holding a bunch of old VHS tapes.

It’s time to lose the machine, and get with the dream…  man.  Your dream man.  I’m the man of your dreams– that’s whay I’m saying!   I know you’re a robot, and maybe I should’ve posted this in electronics, but you know,  I don’t see you as a robot.  To me, you’re a strong woman who needs a strong man.  And that man’s name is Zack.  And that’s me.

I’d totes like to meet up, if you’re interested.  Hit me back, and maybe we can rendevous at Sweet Occasions off the Damen Brown Line.  They have other things besides ice cream, or we can go somewhere else if you want.  No biggie. 

Ciao Bella,

z